How many of you love your husbands?

There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.

The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?'

All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?'
Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didn't remember..

The women were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective husband: I love you, sweetheart.
Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages.

Here are some of the replies:

1. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?

2. What now? Did you crash the car again?

3. I don't understand what you mean?

4. What did you do now? I won't forgive you this time!!!

5. ?!?

6. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?

7. Am I dreaming? ???????

8. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, you will die today...!!!

9. I asked you not to drink anymore!!

and the best one

10. Who is this?

Left keys in the car

After a meeting I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room... it wasn't there.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is, the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen. Immediately I rushed to the parking lot, I came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, car number and description of the place where I parked etc. I equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, to my husband!!! 

"Honey," I stammered; I always call him "honey" in times like these.

"I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.

" There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice. 

"Idiot", he shouted, "I dropped you at the hotel !"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."

He shouted again, "I will, as soon as I manage to convince this policeman that I have not stolen your car."

What happens when a desi returns from USA?

21. Tries to use Credit Card in road side Hotel.

20. Drinks and carries Mineral Water and always speaks of Health. (proving to be very health conscious).

19. Sprays DEO such so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".

Says "Yogurt" instead of "Curds".

Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".

Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".

Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".

Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".

Says "Got To Go" instead of "Have To Go".

Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in KiloMeters), and counts in Millions.(Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y, Zee (but never says Zed).

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY & on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "Mojule".

4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

Few more important stuffs:-

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

And The Ultimate One:-

1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."

Keep smiling :)

khane main kya banau?

Wife: khane main kya banau?
Huband: kuch bhi bana lo.. kya banaogi?
Wife: jo aap kaho
Husband: dal chawal bana lo
Wife: subah hi toh khaye the
Husband: toh roti sabzi bana lo
Wife: bachche nahi khayenge
Husband: toh chhole puri bana lo
Wife: mujhe fried cheezon se heavy lagta hai
Husband: egg bhurji bana lo
Wife: aaj thursday hai
Husband: paranthe? 
Wife: raat ko paranthe nahi khana chahiye
Husband: hotel se mangwa lete hain
Wife: roz roz bahar ka nahi khana chahiye
Husband: kadhi chawal?
Wife: dahi nahi hai
Husband: idly sambhar?
Wife: time lagega...pehle bolna tha na!!
Husband: ek kaam karo maggi bana lo
Wife: pet nahi bharta maggi se
Husband: toh phir kya banaogi?
Wife: jo aap bolo.
:D :P

Beautiful story.....A very poor man lived with his wife

Beautiful story.....A very poor man lived with his wife.

One day, his wife, who had very long hair asked him to buy her a comb for her hair to grow well and to be well-groomed.

The man felt very sorry and said no. He explained that he did not even have enough money to fix the strap of his watch he had just broken.

She did not insist on her request.

The man went to work and passed by a watch shop, sold his damaged watch at a low price and went to buy a comb for his wife.

He came home in the evening with the comb in his hand ready to give to his wife.

He was surprised when he saw his wife with a very short hair cut.

She had sold her hair and was holding a new watch band.

Tears flowed simultaneously from their eyes, not for the futility of their actions, but for the reciprocity of their love.

MORAL: To love is nothing, to be loved is something but to love and to be loved by the one you love,that is EVERYTHING. Never take love for granted.

फैसला उल्लु के पक्ष में

एक बार एक हंस और हंसिनी हरिद्वार के सुरम्य वातावरण से भटकते हुए उजड़े, वीरान और रेगिस्तान के इलाके में आ गये ! हंसिनी ने हंस को कहा कि ये किस उजड़े इलाके में आ गये हैं ? यहाँ न तो जल है, न जंगल और न ही ठंडी हवाएं हैं ! यहाँ तो हमारा जीना मुश्किल हो जायेगा ! भटकते २ शाम हो गयी तो हंस ने हंसिनी से कहा कि किसी तरह आज कि रात बिता लो, सुबह हम लोग हरिद्वार लौट चलेंगे ! 

रात हुई तो जिस पेड़ के नीचे हंस और हंसिनी रुके थे उस पर एक उल्लू बैठा था। वह जोर २ से चिल्लाने लगा। हंसिनी ने हंस से कहा, अरे यहाँ तो रात में सो भी नहीं सकते। ये उल्लू चिल्ला रहा है। हंस ने फिर हंसिनी को समझाया कि किसी तरह रात काट लो, मुझे अब समझ में आ गया है कि ये इलाका वीरान क्यूँ है ? ऐसे उल्लू जिस इलाके में रहेंगे वो तो वीरान और उजड़ा रहेगा ही। 

पेड़ पर बैठा उल्लू दोनों कि बात सुन रहा था।

सुबह हुई, उल्लू नीचे आया और उसने कहा कि हंस भाई मेरी वजह से आपको रात में तकलीफ हुई, मुझे माफ़ कर दो। 

हंस ने कहा, कोई बात नही भैया, आपका धन्यवाद ! यह कहकर जैसे ही हंस अपनी हंसिनी को लेकर आगे बढ़ा, पीछे से उल्लू चिल्लाया, अरे हंस मेरी पत्नी को लेकर कहाँ जा रहे हो। 

हंस चौंका, उसने कहा, आपकी पत्नी? अरे भाई, यह हंसिनी है, मेरी पत्नी है, मेरे साथ आई थी, मेरे साथ जा रही है !

उल्लू ने कहा, खामोश रहो, ये मेरी पत्नी है।

दोनों के बीच विवाद बढ़ गया। पूरे इलाके के लोग इक्कठा हो गये। कई गावों की जनता बैठी। पंचायत बुलाई गयी। पंच लोग भी आ गये !  बोले, भाई किस बात का विवाद है ?

लोगों ने बताया कि उल्लू कह रहा है कि हंसिनी उसकी पत्नी है और हंस कह रहा है कि हंसिनी उसकी पत्नी है ! लम्बी बैठक और पंचायत के बाद पञ्च लोग

किनारे हो गये और कहा कि भाई बात तो यह सही है कि हंसिनी हंस की ही पत्नी है, लेकिन ये हंस और हंसिनी तो अभी थोड़ी देर में इस गाँव से चले जायेंगे। हमारे बीच में तो उल्लू को ही रहना है। इसलिए फैसला उल्लू के ही हक़ में ही सुनाना है ! फिर पंचों ने अपना फैसला सुनाया और कहा कि सारे तथ्यों और सबूतों कि जांच करने के बाद यह पंचायत इस नतीजे पर पहुंची है कि हंसिनी उल्लू की पत्नी है और हंस को तत्काल गाँव छोड़ने का हुक्म दिया जाता है ! 

यह सुनते ही हंस हैरान हो गया और रोने, चीखने और चिल्लाने लगा कि पंचायत ने गलत फैसला सुनाया। उल्लू ने मेरी पत्नी ले ली ! रोते- चीखते जब वहआगे बढ़ने लगा तो उल्लू ने आवाज लगाई - ऐ मित्र हंस, रुको ! 

हंस ने रोते हुए कहा कि भैया, अब क्या करोगे ? पत्नी तो तुमने ले ही ली, अब जान भी लोगे ?

उल्लू ने कहा, नहीं मित्र, ये हंसिनी आपकी पत्नी थी, है और रहेगी ! लेकिन कल रात जब मैं चिल्ला रहा था तो आपने अपनी पत्नी से कहा था कि यह इलाका उजड़ा और वीरान इसलिए है क्योंकि यहाँ उल्लू रहता है ! मित्र, ये इलाका उजड़ा और वीरान इसलिए नहीं है कि यहाँ उल्लू रहता है । यह इलाका उजड़ा और वीरान इसलिए है क्योंकि यहाँ पर ऐसे पञ्च रहते हैं जो उल्लुओं के हक़ में फैसला सुनाते हैं !

शायद ६५ साल कि आजादी के बाद भी हमारे देश की दुर्दशा का मूल कारण यही है कि हमने हमेशा अपना फैसला उल्लुओं के ही पक्ष में सुनाया है। इस देश क़ी बदहाली और दुर्दशा के लिए कहीं न कहीं हम भी जिम्मेदार हैं।

An Interesting History of 1752

Here is an interesting historical fact that you probably didn't know, (I sure didn't). Just have a look at the calendar for the month of September 1752. In case you haven't noticed, 11 days are simply missing from the month.

Here's the explanation: This was the month during which England shifted from the Roman Julian Calendar to the Gregorian Calendar.

A Julian year was 11 days longer than a Gregorian year. So, the King of England ordered 11 days to be wiped off the face of that particular month. (A King could order anything, couldn't he?)

So, the workers worked for 11 days less that month, but got paid for the whole month. That's how the concept of "paid leave" was born. Hail the King!!!

In the Roman Julian Calendar, April used to be the first month of the year; but the Gregorian Calendar observed January as the first month. Even after shifting to the Gregorian Calendar, many people refused to give up old traditions and continued celebrating 1st April as the New Year's Day. When simple orders didn't work, the King finally issued a royal dictum; which stated that those who celebrated 1st April as the new year's day would be labelled as fools.

From then on, 1st April became April Fool's Day.

संत और मटकी

एक जगह संत कथा कर रहे थे , उसी समय एक व्यक्ति उठा और संत के गंजे सर पर ठोला मार कर चला गया, और वहा बेठे सभी भक्त जन सोच रहे थे की हम सभी तो गुरु जी को प्रणाम करते है और ये केसा दुष्ट है जो गुरु जी के सर पर ठोला मार रहा है?

सभी भक्तो को बड़ा ही क्रोध आया और कहा की गुरुजी आप आज्ञा दे तो हम इस की पिटाई कर देते है !

गुरु जी ने कहा: क्यों ?

भक्तो ने कहा की : इसने आपके सर पर ठोला मारने का अपराध जो किया है,

गुरु जी ने हँस कर संत वाणी से कहा की : भैया आप 40 चालीस रूपया की एक मटकी लेते हो तो उनपर ठोले मार कर बजा -बजा कर लेते हो की मटकी में कोई नुक्स तो नही है

फिर ये तो मुझे अपना जीवन सोपने जा रहा है, जिसको जिवन सोपने जा रहा हो वो वाकय में गुरु बनाने के लायक है या नही , यही सोच कर मेरे सर को बजा रहा था ..

जिस की सकारात्मक सोच है संत और गुरु उसी को कहते है , जो हर उलटी बात का सीधा मतलब निकाले....!!!

40 Tips for Happy Health Life

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.

2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

5. Make time for prayer and reflection

6. Play more games.

7. Read more books than you did in 2012.

8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

9. Sleep for 7 hours.

Personality:

10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day —- and while you walk, smile.

11. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

13. Don’t over do; keep your limits.

14. Don’t take yourself so seriously; no one else does.

15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.

16. Dream more while you are awake.

17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.

20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

23. Smile and laugh more.

24. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:

25. Call your family often.

26. Each day give something good to others.

27. Forgive everyone for everything.

28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.

29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

30. What other people think of you is none of your business.

31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

32. Do the right things.

33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

34. Forgiveness heals everything.

35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

37. The best is yet to come.

38. When you awake alive in the morning, don’t take it for granted – embrace life.

39. Your inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not least:

40. Enjoy LIFE!

God and faith

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

कन्या भूर्ण हत्या

एक स्त्री एक दिन एक स्त्रीरोग विशेषज्ञ के पास के गई और बोली-:

" डाक्टर मैँ एक गंभीर समस्या मेँ हुँ और मेँ आपकी मदद चाहती हुँ । मैं pregnant हूँ, आप किसी को बताइयेगा नही मैने एक जान पहचान के सोनोग्राफी लैब से यह जान लिया है कि मेरे गर्भ में एक बच्ची है। मै पहले से एक बेटी की माँ हूँ और मैं किसी भी दशा मे दो बेटियाँ नहीं चाहती।"

डाक्टर ने कहा ,"ठीक है, तो मेँ आपकी क्या सहायता कर सकता हु?"

तो वो स्त्री बोली," मैँ यह चाहती हू कि आप इस गर्भ से छुटकारा दिलाने मेँ मेरी मदद करें ।"

डाक्टर ने थोडा सोचा और फिर बोला, -:

मुझे लगता है कि मेरे पास एक और सरल रास्ता है जो आपकी मुश्किल को हल कर देगा।"

वो स्त्री बहुत खुश हुई।

डाक्टर आगे बोला, " हम एक काम करते है आप दो बेटियां नही चाहती ना?? तो पहली बेटी को मार देते है जिससे आप इस अजन्मी बच्ची को जन्म दे सके और आपकी समस्या का हल भी हो जाएगा. वैसे भी हमको एक बच्ची को मारना है तो पहले वाली को ही मार देते है.?"

वो स्त्री तुरंत बोली" नहीं डाक्टर..!!! बिलकुल नहीं ये एक गुनाह और पाप होगा और वैसे भी मैं अपनी बेटी को बहुत चाहती हूँ। उसको खरोंच भी आती है तो दर्द का अहसास मुझे होता है

डाक्टर तुरंत बोला -:

"पहले कि हत्या करो या अभी जो जन्मा नही उसकी हत्या करो दोनो गुनाह है पाप हैं ।"

स्त्री स्वयं की सोच पर लज्जित हुई डाक्टर की वह बात उस स्त्री को समझ आ गई और पश्चाताप करते हुए घर चली गई ।

क्या आपको समझ मेँ आयी ? अगर आई तो दूसरो को भी समझाए ..

कन्या भूर्ण हत्या अपनी ही औलाद का अपने हाथो से गला घोट देने जैसा है ..इससे बड़ा गुनाह दुनिया में कोई नहीं ..!!

दो भाई

बहुत पुरानी कथा है । किसी गांव में दो भाई रहते थे । बडे की शादी हो गई थी । उसके दो बच्चे भी थे । लेकिन छोटा भाई अभी कुंवारा था । दोनों साझा खेती करते थे ।

एक बार उनके खेत में गेहूं की फसल पककर तैयार हो गई । दोनों ने मिलकर फसल काटी और गेहूं तैयार किया । इसके बाद दोनों ने आधा-आधा गेहूं बांट लिया । अब उन्हें ढोकर घर ले जाना बचा था । रात हो गई थी, इसलिए यह काम अगले दिन ही हो पाता । रात में दोनों को फसल की रखवाली के लिए खलिहान पर ही रुकना था । दोनों को भूख भी लगी थी ।

दोनों ने बारी-बारी से खाने की सोची । पहले बड़ा भाई खाना खाने घर चला गया । छोटा भाई खलिहान पर ही रुक गया । वह सोचने लगा- भैया की शादी हो गई है, उनका परिवार है, इसलिए उन्हें ज्यादा अनाज की जरूरत होगी । यह सोचकर उसने अपने ढेर से कई टोकरी गेहूं निकालकर बड़े भाई वाले ढेर में मिला दिया । बड़ा भाई थोड़ी देर में खाना खाकर लौटा । उसके बाद छोटा भाई खाना खाने घरचला गया । बड़ा भाई सोचने लगा - मेरा तो परिवार है, बच्चे हैं, वे मेरा ध्यान रख सकते हैं । लेकिन मेरा छोटा भाई तो एकदम अकेला है, इसे देखने वाला कोई नहीं है । इसे मुझसे ज्यादा गेहूं की जरूरत है । उसने अपने ढेर से उठाकर कई टोकरी गेहूं छोटे भाई वाले गेहूं के ढेर में मिला दिया!

इस तरह दोनों के गेहूं की कुल मात्रा में कोई कमी नहीं आई। हां, दोनों के आपसी प्रेम और भाईचारे में थोड़ी और वृद्धि जरूर हो गई ।

Professor was explaining marketing concepts:

Professor at IIM A was explaining marketing concepts:

 You see a gorgeous girl at a party.

 You go up to her and say, "I am very rich.Marry me!"

 That's Direct Marketing.

 You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a  gorgeous girl.

 One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at  you says, "He's very rich.Marry him."

 That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.

 You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say "Hi,I'm very rich.Marry me."

 That's Telemarketing.

 You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten  your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich.Will you marry me?"

 That's Public Relations.

 You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and  says,  "You are very rich.."

That's Brand Recognition.

 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm  rich.Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.

 That's Customer Feedback !!!!!

 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am  very rich.Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband

 That's demand and supply gap.

 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you  say, "I am very rich.Marry me!" she turns her face towards you

------------ she is your wife !

 That's competition eating into your market share.

Economics of socialism

An economics teacher at a local school made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Gillard/Brown socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. 

The teacher then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on the Gillard/Brown plan". All grades will 

be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the teacher told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, and gives to those who do nothing, no-one will try or want to succeed.

It could NOT be any simpler than that.

Why We Shout In Anger

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked.

'Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout.'

'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.' asked the saint

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.

Finally the saint explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

He looked at his disciples and said.

'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.'

Hope you found this answer both enlightening as well as useful in your life as i did :)