Sunday, April 28, 2013

What happens when a desi returns from USA?

21. Tries to use Credit Card in road side Hotel.

20. Drinks and carries Mineral Water and always speaks of Health. (proving to be very health conscious).

19. Sprays DEO such so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".

Says "Yogurt" instead of "Curds".

Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".

Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".

Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".

Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".

Says "Got To Go" instead of "Have To Go".

Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in KiloMeters), and counts in Millions.(Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y, Zee (but never says Zed).

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY & on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "Mojule".

4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

Few more important stuffs:-

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

And The Ultimate One:-

1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."

Keep smiling :)

khane main kya banau?

Wife: khane main kya banau?
Huband: kuch bhi bana lo.. kya banaogi?
Wife: jo aap kaho
Husband: dal chawal bana lo
Wife: subah hi toh khaye the
Husband: toh roti sabzi bana lo
Wife: bachche nahi khayenge
Husband: toh chhole puri bana lo
Wife: mujhe fried cheezon se heavy lagta hai
Husband: egg bhurji bana lo
Wife: aaj thursday hai
Husband: paranthe? 

Wife: raat ko paranthe nahi khana chahiye
Husband: hotel se mangwa lete hain
Wife: roz roz bahar ka nahi khana chahiye
Husband: kadhi chawal?
Wife: dahi nahi hai
Husband: idly sambhar?
Wife: time lagega...pehle bolna tha na!!
Husband: ek kaam karo maggi bana lo
Wife: pet nahi bharta maggi se
Husband: toh phir kya banaogi?
Wife: jo aap bolo.
:D :P