Professor was explaining marketing concepts:

Professor at IIM A was explaining marketing concepts:

 You see a gorgeous girl at a party.

 You go up to her and say, "I am very rich.Marry me!"

 That's Direct Marketing.

 You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a  gorgeous girl.

 One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at  you says, "He's very rich.Marry him."

 That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.

 You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say "Hi,I'm very rich.Marry me."

 That's Telemarketing.

 You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten  your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich.Will you marry me?"

 That's Public Relations.

 You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and  says,  "You are very rich.."

That's Brand Recognition.

 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm  rich.Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.

 That's Customer Feedback !!!!!

 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am  very rich.Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband

 That's demand and supply gap.

 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you  say, "I am very rich.Marry me!" she turns her face towards you

------------ she is your wife !

 That's competition eating into your market share.

Economics of socialism

An economics teacher at a local school made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Gillard/Brown socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. 

The teacher then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on the Gillard/Brown plan". All grades will 

be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the teacher told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, and gives to those who do nothing, no-one will try or want to succeed.

It could NOT be any simpler than that.

Why We Shout In Anger

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked.

'Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout.'

'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.' asked the saint

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.

Finally the saint explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

He looked at his disciples and said.

'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.'

Hope you found this answer both enlightening as well as useful in your life as i did :)

The captain doesn't want you to sit next to an unpleasant person

A 50- something year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn't want the seat. The seat was next to a black man.

Disgusted, the woman immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The woman said "I cannot sit here next to this black man." 

The fight attendant said "Let me see if I can find another seat." After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated "Ma'am, there are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class." 

About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated "The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class." 

Before the woman could say anything, the attendant gestured to the black man and said, "Therefore sir, if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn't want you to sit next to an unpleasant person." 

Passengers in the seats nearby began to applause while some gave a standing ovation.

If you are against racism, share this.

ग्लास को नीचे रख दीजिये | Stress management

एक प्रोफ़ेसर ने अपने हाथ में पानी से भरा एक glass पकड़ते हुए class शुरू की . उन्होंने उसे ऊपर उठा कर सभी students को दिखाया और पूछा , ” आपके हिसाब से glass का वज़न कितना होगा?”

’50gm….100gm…125gm’…छात्रों ने उत्तर दिया.

” जब तक मैं इसका वज़न ना कर लूँ मुझे इसका सही वज़न नहीं बता सकता”. प्रोफ़ेसर ने कहा. ” पर मेरा सवाल है:

यदि मैं इस ग्लास को थोड़ी देर तक इसी तरह उठा कर पकडे रहूँ तो क्या होगा ?”

‘कुछ नहीं’ …छात्रों ने कहा.

‘अच्छा , अगर मैं इसे मैं इसी तरह एक घंटे तक उठाये रहूँ तो क्या होगा ?” , प्रोफ़ेसर ने पूछा.

‘आपका हाथ दर्द होने लगेगा’, एक छात्र ने कहा.

” तुम सही हो, अच्छा अगर मैं इसे इसी तरह पूरे दिन उठाये रहूँ तो का होगा?”

” आपका हाथ सुन्न हो सकता है, आपके muscle में भारी तनाव आ सकता है , लकवा मार सकता है और पक्का आपको hospital जाना पड़ सकता है”….किसी छात्र ने कहा, और बाकी सभी हंस पड़े…

“बहुत अच्छा , पर क्या इस दौरान glass का वज़न बदला?” प्रोफ़ेसर ने पूछा.

उत्तर आया ..”नहीं”

” तब भला हाथ में दर्द और मांशपेशियों में तनाव क्यों आया?” Students अचरज में पड़ गए.

फिर प्रोफ़ेसर ने पूछा ” अब दर्द से निजात पाने के लिए मैं क्या करूँ?”

” ग्लास को नीचे रख दीजिये! एक छात्र ने कहा.

” बिलकुल सही!” प्रोफ़ेसर ने कहा.

Life की problems भी कुछ इसी तरह होती हैं. इन्हें कुछ देर तक अपने दिमाग में रखिये और लगेगा की सब कुछ ठीक है.उनके बारे में ज्यदा देर सोचिये और आपको पीड़ा होने लगेगी.और इन्हें और भी देर तक अपने दिमाग में रखिये और ये आपको paralyze करने लगेंगी. और आप कुछ नहीं कर पायेंगे.

अपने जीवन में आने वाली चुनातियों और समस्याओं के बारे में सोचना ज़रूरी है, पर उससे भी ज्यादा ज़रूरी है दिन के अंत में सोने जाने से पहले उन्हें नीचे रखना.इस तरह से, आप stressed नहीं रहेंगे, आप हर रोज़ मजबूती और ताजगी के साथ उठेंगे और सामने आने वाली किसी भी चुनौती का सामना कर सकेंगे.