Self appraisal

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits. The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

The boy asked, "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?

The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn."

"Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." replied boy. The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.

The little boy found more perseverance and offered, "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach, Florida".

Again the woman answered in the negative.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all, walked over to the boy and said, "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."

The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!"

Prayer of this generation

hey krishna tu is kalyug mai aa kar to dikha?
tune 18 saal ki umar me mama kans ko mara,
BIN LADEN ko hath laga kar to dikha?
tune pura parvat ek ungli par uthayamere
gym me aa kar ek dumbell utha ke to dikha?
tune bhari mehfil me draupadi ko saree pehnai,
mallika ko ek jodi kapde pehna ke to dikha?
tune gokul ki 1600 gopia saath me patai,
mere company ki ek ladki pata kar to dikha?
tune Arjun ko to Saari Geeta sunayee,
mere Team Lead se baat kar ke to Dikha?
tune to Arjun ka Sarathi banke Pandavon ko jitaaya
India Cricket team ka Coach ban ke WorldCup jitaake to dikha?
he krishna tu is kalyug mai aa kar to dikha?

Cartoons - making fool

Not done a thing a day

Sardar ji is back

Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and says "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".

The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"

Sardarji calls Air India.

'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?''

Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.

'Thank you.' says the Sardarji and hangs up.

Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV haikya?

''Haan' replies shop owner.

Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'

The Titanic is going to be drowned.... Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God... Just then a Italian asks the nearby Sardarji in the ship.

Italian : How far is land, from here?

Sardarji : Two miles.

Italian : Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more.

The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again.
Italian : Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here ?
Sardarji : Downwards......

Aaj Tak gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a train accident atAmritsar station. Only one sardar left alive.
The correspondent goes to him and asks, "Sardarji how did it happen?

Sardar: "Oh ji pucho mat. sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade gaadi ki wait kar rahe they. Achanak announcement hui ki shatabd eeexpress 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai. Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi PLATFORM PAR aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri parkood gaye. Aur tabhi gaddi patri par aa gayi."
Aaj tak: "Thank god. Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par nahin koode."
Sardar: "oe nahin ji main to suicide karne ke liye patri par hi letatha. Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad gaya."

Speech by Thomas Friedman of The New York Times....

When we were young kids growing up in America, we were told to eat our vegetables at dinner and not leave them.

Mother said, 'think of the starving children in India and finish the dinner.'

And now I tell my children: 'Finish your maths homework. Think of the children in India who would make you starve, if you don't.'

Sardar joke - deaf

Sardar goes to his doctor and complains that his wife is getting deaf. The doctor asks him to confirm and convince himself before getting his wife over to the doctor. Amba goes home and finds his wife is cooking dinner in the kitchen.

He goes and stands 20 feet behind her and asks her , "What are wehaving for Dinner?"

No Answer.

He walks another 5 feet towards his wife and asks her the same question again.

No answer.

He moves even further and is 1 feet away from his wife and asks ," What are you cooking for dinner?"

No answer.

Almost convinced, he finally walks very close to his wife and standing next to her asks the same question again.

The wife says "This is the fourth time I am telling you , I am cooking Chicken........!"

Where to tap

Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed?

The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work.

He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something.

Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars. "What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!" So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."

The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer ......................... $ 2.00

Knowing where to tap ............................. $ 9998.00

Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference.

In case ur keyboard does not work - An alternative keyboard...

An alternative keyboard in Windows:

In case your keyboard or some keys stop workingMicrosoft provides you with an alternative way to type in using the mouse

To work this tool go to Start menu
Then Select Run
Type in OSK
Press Enter

A On Screen Keyboard will appear that you can use.
And to switch between Arabic and English just press the Shift key and choose the letter.

Salary overpaid by Rs. 2.00

A man goes to get his salary cheque and when he opens it he discovers that his employer has overpaid him by Rs.200.
He decides not to tell anybody and keeps quiet.

At the end of the following month when he opens the cheque, he sees that he's been underpaid by Rs.200. Fuming, he goes to have it out with his employer.
'Sir,I think you've made a mistake on my cheque.'
And how do you figure that? his employer asks.
It seems I've been underpaid by Rs.200.
'Yes, so?'
No disrespect Sir, but I want my money.
'Last month I overpaid you by Rs.200 and you didn't complain so why now?

Well Sir, I don't mind if you make a mistake once but if it becomes a habit I have to say something' :-)

Laugh :-)

Teacher asked : Mogals ruled from where to where?
Sararji says: From history book page 12 to 26.

Once some one sent SMS to sardar " Sender is cool and reader is fool"
Sardar got angry and replied " Sender is fool and reader is cool"

What is the difference between Secretary & Personal Secretary?
Secretary says "good morning sir" and Personal Secretary says " It's morning sir"

Mahabharat doubt!!!

In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students. He is at the Krishnajanma part of it.

Masterji: "Kans heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put Vasudev and Devki behind the bars. First son is born, and Kansa kills him by poisoning... Second one is born and Kansa throws him off the mountain peak. Third one is born..."

Now Raju, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand.

Raju : Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous n confused)

Masterji: "Raju bete, the whole of India does not have doubt in mahabharata, how come you have one?"

Raju : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devki's 8th child was going to Kill him, WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME JAIL?

Spirit of Friendship

Horror gripped the heart of a World War-I soldier, as he saw his Lifelong friend fall in battle. The soldier asked his Lieutenant if he could go out to bring his fallen comrade back.

"You can go," said the Lieutenant," but don't think it will be worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your life away. "

The Lieutenant's words didn't matter, and the soldier went anyway. Miraculously, he managed to reach his friend, hoisted him onto his shoulder and brought him back to their company's trench. The officer checked the wounded soldier, then looked kindly at his friend.

"I told you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. "Your friend is dead and you are mortally wounded."

"It was worth it, Sir," said the soldier.

"What do you mean by worth it?" responded the Lieutenant.

"Your friend is dead." "Yes Sir," the soldier answered, "but it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive and I had the satisfaction of hearing him say...."Jim...I knew you'd come."

Many times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or not, really depends on how u look at it. Take up all your courage and do something your heart tells you to do so that you may not regret not doing it later in your life........

"Let the spirit of friendship in us not die. "

Sardar joke - pic

American Culture

Wife comes out screaming to her husband.

"Look honey stop them, your childern and my chilren are beating up our children"

Go to school

One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.

MOM : "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."
SON : "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."
MOM : "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."
SON : "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."
MOM : "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."
SON : "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?"
MOM : "One, you are FORTY-FIVE years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.

AN INSPIRING CHAT WITH GOD

God: Hello. Did you call me?

Me: Called you? No.. Who is this?

God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I'd chat with you.

Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something...

God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me: Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

Me: I understand. But I still can't figure it out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God: Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?

God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.

Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty.

God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life becomes better not bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God: Yes. In every terms, experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?

God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where weare heading.

God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving inthe right direction. What should I do?

God: Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is ameasure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Me: What surprises you about people?

God: When they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me: Sometimes I ask, who I am, why am I here. I can't get the answer.

God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

Me: How can I get the best out of life?

God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God: There are no unanswered prayers... At times the answer is NO.

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the day with a new sense of inspiration.

God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

Who Said That?

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself- "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is MAD that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is BOILING mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?!?!"

Johnny: "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"

One defficult question

This happened during the interview rounds of IIM (A) for the class of 2004........

Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"
A boy thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you,you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.

"What comes first, Day or Night?"

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked."
Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!

"He was selected for IIM!"

Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the master of simplicity.

Sardar joke - copy/paste

One Sardar happens to be smartest among all other sardars, Once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another PC.

Following was the steps followed by him:
1)Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected cut option.
2)Disconnected the mouse from that PC
3)Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file
4) And trying to paste it there....!!!!!!!!!


Balle Balle....

Which one r u ?

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals ondisplay.

While he was there, another customer walked in and said to theshopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey please. "The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop andtook out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, that'll be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.

Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?"

The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C very fast,tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."

The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's evenmore expensive! $10,000! What does it do?""

Oh, that one's a C++ monkey;it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkeyin a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000.

He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the otherput together! What on earth does it do?"

The shopkeeper replied,"Well, I haven't actually seen it doing anything,but the other monkeys call him the project manager."

That's mother

When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you.
You thanked her by crying all night long.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk.
You thanked her by running away when she called.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with Love.
You thanked her by tossing the plate on the floor.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons.
You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 5, she dressed you for the holidays.
You thanked her by plopping into the nearest.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 6, she walked you to school.
You thanked her by screaming, IM NOT GOING!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 7, she bought you a x-udball.
You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbors window.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 8, she handed you an ice-cream.
You thanked her by dripping it all over her lap.
------------------------------------------------------------------------


When you were 9, she paid for piano lessons.
You thanked her by never even bothering it to practice.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 10 years old, she drove you all day,from soccer to
gymnastics to one birthday party to another.
You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 11, she took you and your friends to the movies.
You thanked her by asking her to sit in adifferent row.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 12, she warned you not to watchcertain TV shows.
You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 13, she suggested a haircut.
You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 14, she paid a month away at the summer camp.
You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 15, she came from work, looking fora hug.
You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 16, she taught you how to drive a car.
You thanked her by taking every chance you could.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.
You thanked her by being on the phone all the night.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation.
You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to
campus
carried your bags.
You thanked her by saying outside the dorm so you wouldnt be embarrassed in front of your friends.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 20, she asked you whether you are seeing anyone.
You thanked her by saying, Its none of your business.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 21, she suggested you certain careers.
You thanked her by saying, I dont want to be like you.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation.
You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.
You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 24, she met your fianc and asked about plans for the
future.
You thanked her by glaring and growling,Muuhh-ther, please!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 25, she helped you to pay for your wedding.
You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby.
You thanked her by telling her, Things are different now.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relative ' s birthday.
You thanked her by saying you were really busy right now.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.
You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.


------------------------------------------------------------------------
And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.
IF SHES STILL AROUND, NEVER FORGET TO LOVE HER MORE THAN EVER. AND IF SHES NOT, REMEMBER HER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND PASS IT ON. ALWAYS REMEMBER TO LOVE THY MOTHER, BECAUSE YOU ONLY HAVE ONE MOTHER IN YOUR LIFETIME

Thodi si bewafai...

Chat and work in IT

Our hero chatting with some GF (heroin) on his chat. Both are s/w engrs by the way and both work for real big MNC's :)

Hero : Hey..GM.. hows u doing today?

Heroin : VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chatHero : wow... honoured, u know wat, my day starts only when i find you on chatHeroin : Yep...me too feel the same..brb (be right back) 'll get some coffee.Hero : OK

(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)

Manager : Hey, I need some help from you

Hero : [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager : Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, given value of n.
Would you give this by today evening?

Hero : I would do that, but i think its quite hard, is it ok with you, if i give it by tomorrow evening.

Manager : Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]

(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for heroin to arrive.

All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)

Heroin : Hey, am back

Hero : cool, you know what my manager, he's kinda keeps asking stupid things, tries to give me stupid work

Heroin : Yeah, its the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!

Hero : Yep, u rite!!

Heroin : Hey, can u do me a favour

Hero : *smiles* sure, why not.

Heroin : Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime number,given N.
Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? plzzz. You know its real urgent for me to work this out :)

Hero : hey, thats a one-hour's work. Sure check ur mail in an hour from now. ok?

Heroin : WASTE-FELLOW, THAT WAS THE SAMETHING I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. YOU KNOW WHO I AM NOW!! YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!

Men r simpler than the Women !!!

HER DIARY:

Day night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing."

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY:

Today India lost the cricket match. DAMN IT.

HR Manager - heaven/hell joke

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter.

"Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman

"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in fron! t of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.

Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St.Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.

So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she wentdown-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told...

" Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee. ."

Love and marriage

A student asks a teacher: What is love?

The teacher said: in order to answer your question, go to the paddy field and choose the biggest paddy and come back.

But the rule is:

You can go through them only once and can't turn back to pick. The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big paddy, but he wonders.... may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the paddy field, he start to realize that the paddy is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

The teacher told him, this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person.

Student asked: What is marriage then?

The teacher said: In order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back.

But the rule is:

You can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick. The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfied, and came back to the teacher. The teacher told him, this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get....

this is marriage.