दो भाई

बहुत पुरानी कथा है । किसी गांव में दो भाई रहते थे । बडे की शादी हो गई थी । उसके दो बच्चे भी थे । लेकिन छोटा भाई अभी कुंवारा था । दोनों साझा खेती करते थे ।

एक बार उनके खेत में गेहूं की फसल पककर तैयार हो गई । दोनों ने मिलकर फसल काटी और गेहूं तैयार किया । इसके बाद दोनों ने आधा-आधा गेहूं बांट लिया । अब उन्हें ढोकर घर ले जाना बचा था । रात हो गई थी, इसलिए यह काम अगले दिन ही हो पाता । रात में दोनों को फसल की रखवाली के लिए खलिहान पर ही रुकना था । दोनों को भूख भी लगी थी ।

दोनों ने बारी-बारी से खाने की सोची । पहले बड़ा भाई खाना खाने घर चला गया । छोटा भाई खलिहान पर ही रुक गया । वह सोचने लगा- भैया की शादी हो गई है, उनका परिवार है, इसलिए उन्हें ज्यादा अनाज की जरूरत होगी । यह सोचकर उसने अपने ढेर से कई टोकरी गेहूं निकालकर बड़े भाई वाले ढेर में मिला दिया । बड़ा भाई थोड़ी देर में खाना खाकर लौटा । उसके बाद छोटा भाई खाना खाने घरचला गया । बड़ा भाई सोचने लगा - मेरा तो परिवार है, बच्चे हैं, वे मेरा ध्यान रख सकते हैं । लेकिन मेरा छोटा भाई तो एकदम अकेला है, इसे देखने वाला कोई नहीं है । इसे मुझसे ज्यादा गेहूं की जरूरत है । उसने अपने ढेर से उठाकर कई टोकरी गेहूं छोटे भाई वाले गेहूं के ढेर में मिला दिया!

इस तरह दोनों के गेहूं की कुल मात्रा में कोई कमी नहीं आई। हां, दोनों के आपसी प्रेम और भाईचारे में थोड़ी और वृद्धि जरूर हो गई ।

Professor was explaining marketing concepts:

Professor at IIM A was explaining marketing concepts:

 You see a gorgeous girl at a party.

 You go up to her and say, "I am very rich.Marry me!"

 That's Direct Marketing.

 You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a  gorgeous girl.

 One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at  you says, "He's very rich.Marry him."

 That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.

 You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say "Hi,I'm very rich.Marry me."

 That's Telemarketing.

 You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten  your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich.Will you marry me?"

 That's Public Relations.

 You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and  says,  "You are very rich.."

That's Brand Recognition.

 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm  rich.Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.

 That's Customer Feedback !!!!!

 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am  very rich.Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband

 That's demand and supply gap.

 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you  say, "I am very rich.Marry me!" she turns her face towards you

------------ she is your wife !

 That's competition eating into your market share.

Economics of socialism

An economics teacher at a local school made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Gillard/Brown socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. 

The teacher then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on the Gillard/Brown plan". All grades will 

be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the teacher told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, and gives to those who do nothing, no-one will try or want to succeed.

It could NOT be any simpler than that.

Why We Shout In Anger

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked.

'Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout.'

'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.' asked the saint

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.

Finally the saint explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

He looked at his disciples and said.

'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.'

Hope you found this answer both enlightening as well as useful in your life as i did :)

The captain doesn't want you to sit next to an unpleasant person

A 50- something year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn't want the seat. The seat was next to a black man.

Disgusted, the woman immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The woman said "I cannot sit here next to this black man." 

The fight attendant said "Let me see if I can find another seat." After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated "Ma'am, there are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class." 

About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated "The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class." 

Before the woman could say anything, the attendant gestured to the black man and said, "Therefore sir, if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn't want you to sit next to an unpleasant person." 

Passengers in the seats nearby began to applause while some gave a standing ovation.

If you are against racism, share this.

ग्लास को नीचे रख दीजिये | Stress management

एक प्रोफ़ेसर ने अपने हाथ में पानी से भरा एक glass पकड़ते हुए class शुरू की . उन्होंने उसे ऊपर उठा कर सभी students को दिखाया और पूछा , ” आपके हिसाब से glass का वज़न कितना होगा?”

’50gm….100gm…125gm’…छात्रों ने उत्तर दिया.

” जब तक मैं इसका वज़न ना कर लूँ मुझे इसका सही वज़न नहीं बता सकता”. प्रोफ़ेसर ने कहा. ” पर मेरा सवाल है:

यदि मैं इस ग्लास को थोड़ी देर तक इसी तरह उठा कर पकडे रहूँ तो क्या होगा ?”

‘कुछ नहीं’ …छात्रों ने कहा.

‘अच्छा , अगर मैं इसे मैं इसी तरह एक घंटे तक उठाये रहूँ तो क्या होगा ?” , प्रोफ़ेसर ने पूछा.

‘आपका हाथ दर्द होने लगेगा’, एक छात्र ने कहा.

” तुम सही हो, अच्छा अगर मैं इसे इसी तरह पूरे दिन उठाये रहूँ तो का होगा?”

” आपका हाथ सुन्न हो सकता है, आपके muscle में भारी तनाव आ सकता है , लकवा मार सकता है और पक्का आपको hospital जाना पड़ सकता है”….किसी छात्र ने कहा, और बाकी सभी हंस पड़े…

“बहुत अच्छा , पर क्या इस दौरान glass का वज़न बदला?” प्रोफ़ेसर ने पूछा.

उत्तर आया ..”नहीं”

” तब भला हाथ में दर्द और मांशपेशियों में तनाव क्यों आया?” Students अचरज में पड़ गए.

फिर प्रोफ़ेसर ने पूछा ” अब दर्द से निजात पाने के लिए मैं क्या करूँ?”

” ग्लास को नीचे रख दीजिये! एक छात्र ने कहा.

” बिलकुल सही!” प्रोफ़ेसर ने कहा.

Life की problems भी कुछ इसी तरह होती हैं. इन्हें कुछ देर तक अपने दिमाग में रखिये और लगेगा की सब कुछ ठीक है.उनके बारे में ज्यदा देर सोचिये और आपको पीड़ा होने लगेगी.और इन्हें और भी देर तक अपने दिमाग में रखिये और ये आपको paralyze करने लगेंगी. और आप कुछ नहीं कर पायेंगे.

अपने जीवन में आने वाली चुनातियों और समस्याओं के बारे में सोचना ज़रूरी है, पर उससे भी ज्यादा ज़रूरी है दिन के अंत में सोने जाने से पहले उन्हें नीचे रखना.इस तरह से, आप stressed नहीं रहेंगे, आप हर रोज़ मजबूती और ताजगी के साथ उठेंगे और सामने आने वाली किसी भी चुनौती का सामना कर सकेंगे.

Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' & 'd'

Do you know ....

Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' & 'd' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99

(Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred)

Letters 'a', 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999

(Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand)

Letters 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999

(Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion)

And

Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in the spellings of entire English Counting

The Luck Factor

The Luck Factor

How to knot a tie

http://www.stockmann.lv/portal/2300/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FppCJ46C31A

Positive Attitude

A baby mosquito came back after flying the first time. His dad asked him "How do you feel?"
He replied "It was wonderful, Everyone was clapping for me!"

Now that’s what is called “Positive Attitude”

"Only two persons are happy in this world. One is MAD & another is Child. Be a Mad to achieve what U desire… Be a Child to enjoy what U have……."

Class test excuse

One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night And Didn’t Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.

Q.1. Your Name…………………….( 2 MARKS )

Q.2. Which tyre burst?……………( 98 MARKS )

        a) Front Left

        b) Front Right

        c) Back Left

        d) Back Right …!!!

Drinking Water at the Correct Time........!!

Drinking water at the correct time maximizes its effectiveness on the Human body:

- 2 glasses of water after waking up helps activate internal organs
- 1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal - helps digestion
- 1 glass of water before taking a bath - helps lower blood pressure
- 1 glass of water before going to bed - avoids stroke or heart attack

Give some time to read it!!

Vivek Pradhan wasn't a happy man. Even the plush comfort of the First Class air-conditioned compartment of the Shatabdi Express couldn't cool his frayed nerves. He was the Project Manager and entitled to air travel. It was not the prestige he sought, he had tried to reason with the admin guy, it was the savings in time.

A PM had so many things to do! He opened his case and took out the laptop, determined to put the time to some good use.

"Are you from the software industry sir," the man beside him was staring appreciatively at the laptop.

Vivek glanced briefly and mumbled in affirmation, handling the laptop now with exaggerated care and importance as if it were an expensive car.

"You people have brought so much advancement to the country sir. Today everything is getting computerized."

'Thanks," smiled Vivek, turning around to give the man a detailed look.

He always found it difficult to resist appreciation. The man was young and stocky like a sportsman. He looked simple and strangely out of place in that little lap of luxury like a small town boy in a prep school. He probably was a Railway sportsman making the most of his free traveling pass.

"You people always amaze me," the man continued, "You sit in an office and write something on a computer and it does so many big things outside."

Vivek smiled deprecatingly. Naivety demanded reasoning not anger. "It is not as simple as that my friend. It is not just a question of writing a few lines. There is a lot of process that goes behind it." For a moment he was tempted to explain the entire Software Development Lifecycle but Restrained himself to a single statement. "It is complex, very complex."

"It has to be. No wonder you people are so highly paid," came the reply.

This was not turning out as Vivek had thought. A hint of belligerence came into his so far affable, persuasive tone.

"Everyone just sees the money. No one sees the amount of hard work we have to put in." "Hard work!" "Indians have such a narrow concept of hard work.

Just because we sit in an air-conditioned office doesn't mean our brows don't sweat. You exercise the muscle; we exercise the mind and believe me that is no less taxing."

He had the man where he wanted him and it was time to drive home the point.

"Let me give you an example. Take this train. The entire railway reservation system is computerized. You can book a train ticket between any two stations from any of the hundreds of computerized booking centers across the country. Thousands of transactions accessing a single database at a given time; concurrency, data integrity, locking, data security. Do you understand the complexity in designing and coding such a system?"

The man was stuck with amazement, like a child at a planetarium. This was something big and beyond his imagination.

"You design and code such things."

"I used to," Vivek paused for effect, "But now I am the project manager,"

"Oh!" sighed the man, as if the storm had passed over, "so your life is easy now."

It was like being told the fire was better than the frying pan. The man had to be given a feel of the heat.

"Oh come on, does life ever get easy as you go up the ladder. Responsibility only brings more work. Design and coding! That is the easier part. Now I don't do it, but I am responsible for it and believe me, that is far more stressful. My job is to get the work done in time and with the highest quality. And to tell you about the pressures! There is the customer at one end always changing his requirements, the user wanting something else and your boss always expecting you to have finished it yesterday."

Vivek paused in his diatribe, his belligerence fading with self-realization. What he had said was not merely the outburst of a wronged man, it was the truth. And one need not get angry while defending the truth. "My friend," he concluded triumphantly, "you don't know what it is to be in the line of fire."

The man sat back in his chair, his eyes closed as if in realization. When he spoke after sometime, it was with a calm certainty that surprised Vivek. "I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire," He was staring blankly as if no passenger, no train existed, just a vast expanse of time.

"There were 30 of us when we were ordered to capture Point 4875 in the cover of the night. The enemy was firing from the top. There was no knowing where the next bullet was going to come from and for whom. In the morning when we finally hoisted the tricolor at the top only 4 of us were alive."

"You are a..."

"I am Subedar Sushant Singh from the 13 J&K Rifles on duty at Peak 4875 in Kargil. They tell me I have completed my term and can opt for a land assignment. But tell me sir, can one give up duty just because it makes life easier. On the dawn of that capture one of my colleagues lay injured in the snow, open to enemy fire while we were hiding behind a bunker. It was my job to go and fetch that soldier to safety. But my captain refused me permission and went ahead himself. He said that the first pledge he had taken as a Gentleman Cadet was to put the safety and welfare of the nation foremost followed by the safety and welfare of the men he commanded. His own personal safety came last, always and every time. He was killed as he shielded that soldier into the bunker. Every morning now as I stand guard I can see him taking all those bullets, which were actually meant for me. I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire."

Vivek looked at him in disbelief not sure of his reply. Abruptly he switched off the laptop. It seemed trivial, even insulting to edit a word document in the presence of a man for whom valor and duty was a daily part of life; a valor and sense of duty which he had so far attributed only to epical heroes.

The train slowed down as it pulled into the station and Subedar Sushant Singh picked up his bags to alight.

"It was nice meeting you sir."

Vivek fumbled with the handshake. This was the hand that had climbed mountains, pressed the trigger and hoisted the tricolor. Suddenly as if by impulse he stood at attention, and his right hand went up in an impromptu salute. It was the least he felt he could do for the country.

PS: The incident he narrates during the capture of Peak 4875 is a true life incident during the Kargil war. Major Vikram Batra sacrificed his life while trying to save one of the men he commanded, as victory was within sight. For this and his various other acts of bravery he was posthumously awarded the Param Vir Chakra - the nation's highest military award.

A Panchatantra story, American banks & lalit modi …

Something which is crucial to the financial services industry is the concept of being too big to fail, which has been put to good use by Citigroup, Bear Stearns, and Goldman Sachs over the past few years in sucking money from American taxpayers. This beautiful concept was also invented by an Indian - Vishnu Sharma, the author of the Panchatantra, in the story of the Weaver and the Chariot Maker.

The story of the weaver and chariot maker is one of the Panchatantra stories that usually doesn't make it to primary school textbooks or Amar Chitra Katha, mostly because it's full of sex, war, and moral hazard. Since you probably haven't read it, here's a quick summary.

A weaver sees a princess during a festival and falls in love with her. As a weaver, he has no chance of marrying her, so he sinks into depression. His friend, a chariot maker decides to help him out. He designs a flying chariot in the shape of Garuda, dresses the weaver up as Vishnu, and tells him to fly the chariot into the princess's room, tell her that he is Vishnu and wants to marry her Gandharva style. That is, the wedding is kept a secret from everyone except the princess and the faux-Vishnu. The princess agrees, and the weaver comes back every night to consummate the marriage.

Eventually, the maids notice that the princess is spending her days in total bliss, suspect that she's in love, and tell the King. The King asks her what's going on, and she tells him that she's married to Vishnu himself. The King is absolutely delighted, and decides that there's no point in paying tribute to the Chakravarti now that Vishnu himself is on the kingdom's side. The next night, he catches the weaver as he enters the princess's room and asks him to fight the Chakravarti' s army.

The weaver is horrified. Pretending to be Vishnu was fine when it allowed him to make sweet, sweet love to the princess, but taking on the role of Vishnu to face an imperial army single-handed is another thing altogether. On the other hand, if he confesses to the King that he is not actually Vishnu and has been boinking the princess under false pretences for the past month, he will have his head chopped off. So he decides to get on to the battlefield and do the best job he can, while the King is whipping up enthusiasm in the population by telling them that Vishnu himself is going to do all the fighting.

By this time, Garuda (the real one, not the mechanical one) has tipped off Vishnu about what's going on, and warned him that if the fake Vishnu doesn't win the battle, the people of the kingdom will lose all faith in him. Vishnu doesn't want to see this happen, so on the battlefield he enters the weaver's body and annihilates the Chakravarti' s army. The entire army. Every single soldier. After this, the weaver marries the princess, everyone goes on worshipping Vishnu, and the king becomes the new Chakravarti.

The moral is that you should conduct your affairs in such a way that if you fail, it will lead to someone or something even bigger or more powerful failing too. This lets you get away with anything. The weaver got away with having sex with the princess on false pretences (this is rape under Section 375 of the Indian Penal Code), pretending to be a god (awesomely enough, this too is a criminal offence under Section 508), and annihilating an entire army that was fighting a just war - after all, it was the king who broke the treaty (you could make a case for this being genocide under Article 2 of the UN Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide).

American banks and financial institutions were very good at absorbing this lesson, and leveraged themselves up to such an extent that if they failed they would take the global economy down with them. And just as the weaver lived happily ever after with the princess, banks have lived happily ever after with taxpayer-funded bailouts.

But no matter how hard American investment banks try, Indians still remain the masters of this art. If the whole truth surrounding Lalit Modi is revealed, big politicians might be trapped. Modi is, thus, likely to get away lightly -- as is A Raja, who might have given away spectrum at bargain basement rates, but whose sacking would lead to the government collapsing. All this goes to show that no matter what the anguished elderly gentlemen who write letters to the editor feel, Indians are still in touch with our ancient and glorious culture.

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?

It is absolutely true that there are some things that the brain cannot handle.

You have to try this and, it only takes 2 seconds. I could not believe this. Received from an orthopaedic surgeon...This will confuse your mind, and I am sure you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't. It is pre-programmed in your brain!

1. While sitting at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.