IT guys

Chain eMail letters

Hii... I want to thank all my dear friends and other people who haveforwarded chain letters to me in 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008.

Because of your kindness:

I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good only for removing toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infectedwith AIDS.

I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with callstoUganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

I also stopped drinking water outside for fear that I will getsick from the rat shit and urine.

When I go to parties, I don't look at any guy, no matter how hot sheis, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take mykidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account.

A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1994...)

My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for apaid vacation to Disneyland.

Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai Lama, GaneshVandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc..Now most of those "Wishes" are already married (to someone else)!

I know how important my friends are to me, I'll always remember them no matter I remember my work or not.

If ORKUT deletes my account, it doesn't matter BUT PLEASE DON'T SEND me"Orkut is deleting accounts: Due to sudden rush..." Otherwise I'll delete my E-Mail account!

IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 913760 people in the next 10seconds, a bird will shit on your head today at 6:30 p.m.

Give me a break!!
"The World Is Filled WIth Foolish Ppl And Some Think They Got Talent Too !!!"

Welcome 2008

2007 is going 2 finish
Now, we need to face 2008
There may be risks involved
We may need to face roadblocks
So stay alert
Share time with friends
Jump over obstacles
With care
And caution
Face challenges
Remember to laugh
Cooperate
Discover
Make new friends
Above all...be ready for adventure
Stick together
And you will be able to go far
Very far.....
Well, not quite that far....
Always take time to smell the flowers
Don't forget to relax and enjoy
" And don't forget those who likes u very much " Wish you a very happy and cheerful Year 2008

LUV DIES B'COZ...........

Once upon a time there was an island, where all the feelings lived...............

1day there was storm in the sea and island was abt to get drown............
every feeling was scared but, LOVE made a boat 2 escape..........
every feeling boarded d boat.......
1 feeling was left.........

LOVE got down 2 see who it was........... it was EGO........
LOVE tried n tried but EGO wasn't moving, ........
and also the water was rising.........
everyone asked LOVE 2 leave him n cum on boat......but LOVE was made to love.........

At last, it died with EGO on that island..............

LOVE DIES B'COZ OF EGO....................

Dekho ek SOftware Engineer Ja raha hai

Simple or defficult question?

In an interview, interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question.Think well before you make up your mind!"

A boy thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question."

"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.

"What comes first, Day or Night?"

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"

"How" the interviewer asked.

"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"

Born or Downloaded - doubt...

The woman in your life...

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are.

Who is earning almost as much as you do.

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are.

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this...

An alternative keyboard in Windows!!!!!!!!!

In case your keyboard or some keys stop working Microsoft provides you with an alternative way to type in using the mouse.

To work this tool:
- go to Start menu then
- Select Run
- Type in OSK
- Press OK

A keyboard will appear that you can use both in Arabic and English and to switch between Arabic and English just press the Shift key and choose the letter.

Corporate language !!

"We will do it"
means
" You will do it"


"You have done a great job"
means
"More work to be given to you"


"We are working on it"
means
"We have not yet started working on the same"


"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"Its not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !".


"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"


"There was a slight mis-communication"
means
"We had actually lied"


"Lets call a meeting and discuss"
means
"I have no time now, will talk later"


"We can always do it"
means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"


"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline"
means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."


"We had slight differences of opinion"
means
"We had actually fought"


"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"
means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"


"You should have told me earlier"
means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"


"We need to find out the real reason"
means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"


"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected"
means
"Well you know..."


"We are a team"
means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"

"That's actually a good question"
means
"I do not know anything about it"


"All the Best"
means
" You are in trouble"

Stronger Rupee = Stronger India (email comments on current rupee value 39.7x against dollar)

Let me ask a question first.

What type of economic strength is preferable to India?

A)

A strong Indian economy fueled by its cheap labor due to a weaker rupee against dollar, where the Indians end up working in shifts, late nights, whole nights and what not... only doing low profile jobs which foreign companies want to offload toIndia, so that they can concentrate on high end works and become even better. For instance in IT field, providing BPO services, support and maintenance work for products...

OR

B)

A strong Indian economy fueled by its strong innovations and products, no matter whether the rupee is strong or weak against dollar.. where Indians work only in regular office hours of 9 to 6, developing cutting edge technologies and solutions,selling our world class products both inside and outside India. For instance in IT field, imagine operating systems, compilers, databases etc all coming out of India ..

I do not deny the fact that the IT boom in India came to a large extent because of (A). Well and good, we have had the benefits of our cost being cheap in western markets due to a weak rupee against dollar.. We have had our share because of this advantage in the past 2 decades..

But at the same time doesn't it make sense to move towards (B),instead of crying foul against rupee becoming stronger against dollar?

What a pity! Indian IT companies are feeling bad because rupee is becoming stronger against dollar! Reason, their profits will go down when the value of rupee is stronger, as every single dollar that comes into their account now means lesser rupee than earlier..(if for instance earlier they used to get 47 rupees for every dollar that comes in, but today its about 40!)

But isn't this a matter of celebration? Our rupee is gaining importance internationally and is becoming stronger again ..How many of us know that in 1947 when India got independence Rupee was 1.2 US dollars?

These Indian IT companies instead of relying on a weaker rupee for their profit should now look at coming out with innovative products and technical solutions. What have these companies done in the arena of core system products? Why don't we have any operating systems, compilers, database systems, development platforms etc coming out of India ? Why don't we develop tools like photoshop or flash? We have talent, but they all are working in American companies on these products...

Can't our Indian IT companies setup at least small teams to develop such products? Instead they are planning to make their employees work on saturdays too! So that their profits can increase due to extra hours the employees put in... As if India doesn't have any other option other than cheap labor, workaholic labor!! Are there no brains in India who can setup companies developing products and make money just by printing out more serial numbers and burning their product DVDs?

If Indian companies continue to depend on its weak currency, then how would Indian economy survive in a world where all currencies have equal value? Survival of the fittest... Only greater innovation can help us in that case... We need to have knowledge and technological advantage if India wants to become a superpower, not low cost based cheap labor advantage! Let the Chinese do it...

I hope that rupee becomes more and stronger so that Indians are forced to use their brains and come up with innovative products and next generation technologies, than to provide low end services... We need to create a situation where other countries line up to buy our F-16s, to buy our operating systems, to buy our mobile phones and I-pods, to buy our Boeing, to buy our Mercedes... "

A stronger rupee means we can easily afford foreign trips!"A stronger rupee means Indians can buy things anywhere in the world on par with developed economies! We don't have to spend crores of rupees then to buy a Boeing! We don't have to pay tens of thousands of rupees for international air travels! Astronger rupee means greater international exposure! There won't be a difference between buying a Maruti and buying a Mercedes! One can go on a trip to the Grand Canyon just like the way one goes to Ladakh or Nepal ! How do you thinkAmericans are able to tour all over the world? Because they earn more? No. But because their currency USD is stronger...

And this is where a strong rupee will lead us to! "I am not saying providing low end services are wrong... It gave us a very good start in the 90s. But that should definitelynot be the bread and butter fueling our economic boom indefinitely in the future... For the simple reason that it can't continue to do so any longer... other low cost destinations, cheaper than India are already coming up in the world... Let us moveahead... become more innovative... the journey has just started...

This is just the beginning of all the beginnings.

Height of using Microsoft Windows

Never ask a question in court if an answer is not prepared

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.....

In a trial, a small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. The witness was grand motherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you".

The Lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, Do you know the defence attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you in jail for contempt.

Self appraisal

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits. The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

The boy asked, "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?

The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn."

"Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." replied boy. The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.

The little boy found more perseverance and offered, "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach, Florida".

Again the woman answered in the negative.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all, walked over to the boy and said, "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."

The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!"

Prayer of this generation

hey krishna tu is kalyug mai aa kar to dikha?
tune 18 saal ki umar me mama kans ko mara,
BIN LADEN ko hath laga kar to dikha?
tune pura parvat ek ungli par uthayamere
gym me aa kar ek dumbell utha ke to dikha?
tune bhari mehfil me draupadi ko saree pehnai,
mallika ko ek jodi kapde pehna ke to dikha?
tune gokul ki 1600 gopia saath me patai,
mere company ki ek ladki pata kar to dikha?
tune Arjun ko to Saari Geeta sunayee,
mere Team Lead se baat kar ke to Dikha?
tune to Arjun ka Sarathi banke Pandavon ko jitaaya
India Cricket team ka Coach ban ke WorldCup jitaake to dikha?
he krishna tu is kalyug mai aa kar to dikha?